Book Review: Nurture Shock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman

In one sentence, this book debunks modern parenting theories and tactics using science. Some topics included in this book include: why giving praise can be detrimental to self-esteem, why kids lie to their parents, why educational TV shows can cause children to be verbally aggressive, why sleep matters so darn much, and more. As authors Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman write in their introduction,

We chose these topics because the research surprised us- it directly challenged the conventional point of view on how kids grow up. However, once we parsed through the science and reviewed the evidence, the new thinking about children felt self-evident and logical, even obvious. (11)

In other words, even though the studies presented disprove conventional thinking, they still make sense and are logical. Why? Because they are backed up by science and data. Here’s an example: the D.A.R.E. program is popular nation-wide; when I was growing up, every fifth grader went through the “Say No to Drugs” program and learned about how to say no to peer pressure, the negative effect of drugs, and the long term consequences of abusing alcohol and drugs. However, as awesome as this program sounds, Bronson and Merryman cite several studies that show the program really makes no difference long term in preventing teenagers from experimenting with drugs. So why is it still used?

You might like this book because: You don’t need to read every single chapter to learn something. For teachers, I would recommend the following chapters: “The Inverse Power of Praise,” “The Search for Intelligent Life in Kindergarten,” and “Can Self Control Be Taught?” For parents with small children, I would recommend “The Lost Hour,” “Why White Parents Don’t Talk About Race,” “The Sibling Effect,” and “Plays Well with Others.” These chapters truly can be read as their own scholarly article without reading the rest of the book.

You might not like this book because: It has received some critical reviews, including this one from The New York Times. Pamela Paul argues the book is an oversimplification of parenting and not an end-all parenting manual. Still, even she admits that the book calls to attention studies rarely seen in the media.

Similar Titles I’ve Read: Mindset by Carol Dweck, Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, Freakonomics by Stephen J. Dubner and Steven D. Levitt

I would recommend this book to: any parents with small children or people thinking about having children soon, teachers (especially those who work with elementary students), and day care providers.

While non-fiction books aren't always enthralling to me, I am glad I read the book and enjoyed the various studies that Bronson and Merryman reference. It did cause me to reflect what kind of praise I give to my students and how I interact with them, and I hope I can use some of what I learned to improve my teaching and, at some point, parenting in the future.